Set in Style

There was some noise this week about a revision to an Arkansas law (9-11-102(b)(1)), passed last March, that — on its face — allowed children of any age to get a marriage license, just so long as they had their parents’ permission. The law contained the following:

In order for a person who is younger than eighteen (18) years of age and who is not pregnant to obtain a marriage license, the person must provide the county clerk with evidence of parental consent to the marriage.

What the author of the bill intended was a law prohibiting people younger than 18 from getting married in Arkansas, with an exception for pregnant girls. They could get married if their parents consented. Somehow (and no one seems to know how it happened) the phrase “who is pregnant” was changed to “who is not pregnant.”

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In addition to making sure that the articles a firm publishes are free from spelling and grammatical errors, an editor can help make sure those articles are free from factual errors.

Let’s look at a few real-world examples: several articles describing the Supreme Court’s recent ruling in LaRue v. DeWolff, Boberg & Associates, Inc.
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In this interview published by Management Consulting News, Tom Sant, author of The Language of Success, describes a writing style he calls Guff:

Guff is another form of pseudo language. This is the mode people use when they want to convince us that they are more intelligent [. . .] than we are. Guff is the language you get from many bureaucrats, senior managers, lawyers, and politicians. It showcases big words, long sentences, lots of passive voice, and convoluted constructions. At the end of it, you don’t know what they’ve said.

Of course, Guff is required for most (but not all) legal writing. But it’s not required for most promotional pieces (e.g., client alerts) written by attorneys.

If you’re an attorney, and you’re used to writing Guff day-in/day-out, then pause before you write your next client alert. Take a moment to think of your audience, and ask yourself: do I want an itsy-bitsy audience (e.g., corporate counselors interested in Rule 204-3), or do I want a much larger audience?If you want the larger audience, forget the Guff.

And, if you feel compelled to write about Rule 204-3, don’t waste your time writing what so many others have already written. After all, who’s going to read the umpteenth analysis of proposed amendments to Form ADV?

The legal writing region is abuzz with Bryan Garner’s interviews with the justices of the Supreme Court. He asks them about legal writing, and they say what they think.

Before you listen to the interviews, listen to some news. Listen as Senator Clinton is asked about this or that. And listen to her response. Nine times out of ten, her response begins with some emphatic version of, “Well, ya know . . . .”

Grade her as if she was speaking at a Toastmaster’s meeting; i.e., give her a demerit each time she says, “Well, ya know . . . .” Then, listen to Garner’s interview with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and grade it the same way.

Change stations. Listen to Senator Obama say what he thinks. Grade him as if he was speaking at a Toastmaster’s meeting; i.e., give him a demerit each time he says “ah,” “eh,” or “um.” Count the demerits. Then, listen to Garner’s interview with John Roberts, and grade it the same way.

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I’m editing a client alert (about laws regarding campaign contributions) when I run across the following:

This bar extends to indirect contributions, for example, reimbursing a corporate employee who makes a contribution from his or her own funds.

This is a fairly common construction in legal writing. But it’s not an acceptable construction. Why? Because it fails to follow the rules.

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Nossaman claims “to uphold the highest standards of excellence.” Do its client alerts support that claim, or defy it?

Consider the grammatical errors in one client alert recently published by Nossaman:

Minimum Wage Increase

Effective January 1, 2008, the California minimum wage increased from $7.50 to $8.00.

The new increase also affects exempt employees because they must receive a monthly salary equal to twice the minimum wage for full employment.

Hourly Rate Threshold for Computer Professionals Lowered

Prior law exempted computer professionals from overtime requirements if the employee is primarily engaged in work that is intellectual or creative and earns an hourly rate of at least $41.00 per hour, indexed for inflation.

Hands Free Cell Phone

Effective July 1, 2008, drivers cannot use a cell phone while driving a motor vehicle unless he or she is using a hands-free device.

California and Federal Military Leave Laws

The California Military leave law requires employers with 25 or more employees to give qualified employees as many as 10 unpaid days off when their spouse is on leave from military deployment.

Update: Do a Google search for Nossaman. Note that, just two days after this post was published, it’s among the top ten search results.

Marcia Pennington Shannon of Shannon & Manch (consultants to many large law firms) authored this interesting article for Legal Practice Magazine. It’s an interview with Ross Guberman, principal of Legal Writing Pro, a consulting firm that teaches legal writing. In it, Guberman lists the top four problems that partners have with the writings of their associates:

• Poor structure/rambling organization

• Passive voice/awkward sentences/ambiguous clauses

• Clutter/wordiness

• Grammar/usage/proofreading/ attention to detail

What does this tell us about what’s not required to enter law school?

Which is it: the President of the United States, or the president of the United States? a Congressional Committee, or a congressional committee? the State of California, or the state of California? our Firm is committed to excellence, or our firm is committed to excellence? the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or the chief justice of the United States?

In each case, it’s the latter.

Just discovered this blog — Lawyers['] Writing Wrongs — that focuses on unusual statements in briefs.Here’s an example:

“The Second segment of uncompensated occurs during the Plaintiffs uncompensated thirty (30) minute meal/rest break.”

From a firm’s advertisement for an attorney:

Law firm experience is required as is excellent writing skills.