But too many don’t. Consider these two pages on diversity — one from Jones Day and another from Hunton & Williams.

Here’s the first paragraph of the page from Jones Day:

At its core, Jones Day’s culture is one of teamwork, and the Firm prides itself on being “One Firm Worldwide.” Our lawyers believe and adhere to the notion that dedication to and effort for common goals are the keys to success in client representation. We draw upon our lawyers at all levels, from offices in 13 countries on four continents, to effectively and appropriately staff any client projects. Thus, Jones Day lawyers routinely work together not only as professionals but also as enthusiastic colleagues and friends with the advancement of the client’s interest as the paramount goal. This fundamental culture of teamwork is one that not only depends upon but also supports and fosters diversity and inclusion and permits attorneys from all backgrounds and cultures to flourish and develop their full potential.

This is what’s called a loose paragraph: lots of ideas with no particular focus. Teamwork is the topic, but how teamwork depends on diversity is left up to the reader. The author provides no guidance at all: just makes a claim and then leaves it at that.

If you make a claim, you’ve got to support it. That’s so fundamental to being persuasive.

Try this: go to the firm’s Web site and search for ‘diversity.’ You might be surprised by the results. I’d expect something like this to show up in a search.

Note: less than 24 hours after posting this comment, it shows up in the top ten results in a Google search on Jones Day and diversity. In a few days, it might jump ahead of the firm’s page on diversity. When that happens, more people are learning about diversity at Jones Day from this blog than from the firm’s Web site!

Here’s the first paragraph from Hunton & Williams:

Hunton & Williams believes a diverse group of attorneys and staff allows the firm to better serve its clients, and maintains a vigorous Diversity Program to help attract a workforce representative of the firm’s global practice. To learn more, please view the videos below:

Short, simple, and sweet. Search for ‘diversity’ at hunton.com and see how pertinent the results are.

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 17th, 2006 at 11:15 and is filed under Copy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.